theaeblackthorn: (TW - John - What is this fuckery?)
[personal profile] theaeblackthorn

Derek Hale is a werewolf, who was raised with his family, his 'pack', in Beacon Hills, California. From all indications they were a peaceful family, lived in society, maybe killed the odd deer, but that was it.

When Derek was 16 he fell in love with an older woman called Kate. She led him on, said she loved him, and burnt his whole family to death simply because they were werewolves. The only ones not to be burnt alive were Derek and his sister, Laura.

Laura became the new Alpha of their 'pack' (two people isn't really a pack). They ran as far and as fast as they could, all the way to New York. Until Laura saw news that something was happening back in Beacon Hills. She returned, she got killed and Derek came to investigate why the last person he had the world had been killed, cut in half and used to lure him home. What happened? He got arrested for her murder.

Fast forward and now Derek is living in the burnt out remains of his family home, failing to communicate effectively enough to team up with the local kid who is now a werewolf, and being literally tortured by the woman who burnt his family alive.

I'll not cover more because the fanmix only covers Derek from just before the fire to returning to Beacon Hills because Laura is dead.

For when the world has

Thrice - IN EXILE

I am a nomad, a wanderer
I have nowhere to lay my head down
There's no point in putting roots to deep when I'm moving on
Not settling for this unsettling town

I am a pilgrim, a voyager
I won't rest until my lips touch the shore
Of the land that I've been longing for as long as I've lived
Where there'll be no pain or tears anymore

Prelude. Derek is as far from home in almost every sense of the word. He's gone from the woods and small town life in California, to New York, the largest city in America. But everything says this was only one stop on a list of many. Laura and Derek are in exile and it's entirely self-imposed.


I got desperate desires, and unadmirable plans
My tongue will taste of gin and malicious intent
Bring you back to the bar get you out of the cold
My sober straight face gets you out of your clothes.

I will lie awake and lie for fun
And fake the way I hold you
Let you fall for every empty word I say.

Barely conscious in the door where you stand.
Your eyes are fighting sleep while your mouth makes your demands
You laugh at every word trying too hard to be cute
I almost feel sorry for what I'm gonna do
And your hair smells of smoke

So this is it, this is Kate all over the place. She took a kind, trusting kid, and took advantage of him. She used the information she got from him to trap his entire family, children and all, in their home and burnt it to the ground. The maliciousness behind the descriptions of Derek in this song just really hit home.

Mumford & Sons - DUST BOWL DANCE

I've been kicked off my land at the age of sixteen
And I have no idea where else my heart could have been
I placed all my trust at the foot of this hill
And now I am sure my heart can never be still
So collect your courage and collect your horse
And pray you never feel this same kind of remorse

Seal my heart and break my pride
I've nowhere to stand and now nowhere to hide
Align my heart, my body, my mind
To face what I've done and do my time

Wherever Derek might be, there's still a part of him that's in Beacon Hills. The exile Laura and Derek are in, to Derek at least is something he's got to suffer through, because in his opinion he was stupid enough to bring this on himself. He was young and stupid and trusting. He fell in love and his family burnt.

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - BEAT THE DEVIL'S TATTOO

You have forsaken all the love you've taken
Sleepin' on a razor there's nowhere left to fall
Your body's aching, every bone is breakin'
Nothin' seems to shake it, it just keeps holdin' on

There is no peace here, war is never cheap dear
Love will never meet here, it just gets sold for parts
You cannot fight it, all the world denies it
Open up your eyelids, let your demons run

I think the words and music paint this one pretty well. Derek never told Laura that it was his fault, you know? That's a whole lot of guilt to carry. As far as we're aware, he's never told anyone...

The Strokes - HEART IN A CAGE

I don't want what you want
I don't feel what you feel
See, I'm stuck in a city
But I belong in a field

Yeah we got left, left, left, left, left, left, left
Now it's three in the morning and you're eating alone

Oh the heart beats in its cage

Derek just picks up and moves back into the show, across country. How lonely must it have been to have no-one to say goodbye to? No friends, nothing. And any money it was because Derek didn't feel he deserved them. He fucked up trusting someone once, he's not going to make the mistake again.


You ask me was it
Cruel, cruel fate?
Well, it doesn't matter now either way

Cruel, cruel fate
Well, it doesn't matter now either way

What does it matter whose fault it was? Their family's dead and gone and there's no-one else. But this little bit of me sees Derek wanting to ask Laura, 'WAS IT FATE OR WAS IT MY FAULT?' But he's too shit scared of her saying, 'It was you, you killed our family and I want nothing to do with you'. And even if seeing Laura hurts she's all he's got. She's his last bit of home.

The Black Keys - SINISTER KID

That's me, that's me
The boy with the broken halo
That's me, that's me
The devil won't let me be

No matter what Derek does, no matter where he works, what he tries, wherever he goes his devils and demons are there saying, 'I wonder what dad would be doing right now' or 'Peter would have loved his' or, one of a million things, a million reminders that for some reason he gets to live in this world, and they don't. He fucked up and they're dead.

Taking Back Sunday - GHOST MAN ON THIRD

I tell you all about it
It's just not working out
( watch me hit the bottle)
not workin' out

This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does
This is what living like this does

Living with all that guilt, that hate, that self-loathing, you become a ghost, an angry shell of a person. That's what living like that does.

Nine Inch Nails - HURT

I wear this crown of thorns,
Upon my liars chair,
Full of broken thoughts,
I cannot repair,

And you could have it all,
My empire of dirt,
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt,

Derek suffers, Derek makes sure he suffers. Derek's not good enough for anyone. Derek shouldn't have friends, or nice things, he just lets people down and fucks things up. He's so anti-social by this point, like when we see him return to Beacon Hills, he's almost excited to see another wolf that could be pack, but he's so un-socialised (shit is that even a word?) that he just ends up making the kid think he's a murderer instead of a lonely wolf looking for pack. Even when he tries he fucks it up.

The White Stripes - SEVEN NATION ARMY

And I'm talking to myself at night
Because I can't forget
Back and forth through my mind
Behind a cigarette
And the message coming from my eyes
Says leave it alone

All the words are gonna bleed from me
And I will sing no more
And the stains coming from my blood
Tell me go back home

So. Derek knows something isn't right. Something's wrong with his Alpha, and, shit, there's only so long he can ignore that wrong. There's a message coming from his bones that says 'go back home'. And so the story continues.

hope I did this right guys!
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February 2013

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